Query Time: Interview With Literary Agent, Jason Yarn

Today we have awesome agent, Jason Yarn of Paradigm Talent Agency here for an interview!

So Jason, What's the number one mistake that query writers make? What makes you hit the "delete" key after the first line?

It’s difficult to answer these two questions together, as I don’t know that there’s a constant common mistake I see, whereas there are a number of things that a writer can do that make me pass quickly, like:

·       Start with a joke. (99% of the time it’s never funny)

·       Write the letter like its coming from one of their characters.

·       Tell me how it is going to be the next world-wide bestseller and I’m a fool if I pass. (More common on adult thriller and non-fiction political queries, I think)

·       Just writing to ask if I’m accepting queries.

·       Querying me in an area I’m not looking for. (There’s an old interview with me on Writer’s Digest, I believe, which has a lot more categories than I look for now – people need to keep in mind that an agent might change what they are looking for later on.)

·       Writing a massive query letter – it needs to be as tight as you can make it. (That’s before getting to sample pages or a synopsis)

That’s just a few things that are easily fixable. As for #1 mistake/instant pass, I guess it has to be the people who just write blanket letters, without even addressing each agent by their name, or, worse, leaving all the agents in the email so we can see each other. I get more of these than you’d think and they are always bad news.

On the whole, people querying with YA novels usually have the best, most polished queries, so I am rarely rejecting those because there is something wrong at first sight with the query.

Woohoo! Go YA writers! We must be awesome.

What would you love to see in your inbox right now?

Some more epic, genre stuff – any level – I get a lot of genre queries, but they have been quieter, smaller lately. I like them, but they have been harder to sell I've found.

What story line/character type/cliche do you wish would die and stay dead? (I promise, no vampire jokes).

Cliché: No doubt, the “looking in the mirror so the writer has an excuse to have the character describe themselves” cliché. That’s a pet peeve for me, and I know for others. Don’t do it.

Story line: I guess deserted wasteland dystopias. I like dystopias in general, but I don’t like the “empty world” ones a whole lot. I think I was scarred by Z is for Zachariah as a child.

We all want to be special, shiny and unique in our query letters, but does trying something "quirky" or different really work? Should writers stick to the basic query formula? Any examples of a unique hook that has caught your eye, or failed miserably?

You’ll see some of my thoughts on this in Question 1. The unique hook you are looking for has to come naturally out of your story. The easy way to do this “it’s X meets Y” with some combo of other books or movies, or “my character is Z plus A” in the same fashion. It’s an effective short-hand – I know some people look at it as a cheesy Hollywoodization of everything, but remember that you’re just looking at a way to grab someone’s attention and get them to read further in where you’ll get beyond the surface. Also, make sure your X’s and Y’s are not both classic novels – got to have something in there that worked in the last 5-10 years. A better approach of course is if you can build your opening line, your hook, directly from your book.

Erin, I went back and checked, and you actually did something I don’t see that much of, starting your letter off with text from the book (after first introducing what it was, of course). This may be an effective tactic, if you can find a short passage from the opening that is really grabbing (no pun intended for your query). I think most writers are wary of this, and it is not a no brainer. But it could be one to think about.

 Aw, shucks. If you guys are curious about the query letter Jason is referring to, you can read it HERE.

Let's say an author gets to phrase two. Their writing is good, the first pages pull you in...but once you have the full manuscript you decide it's not for you. What usually motivates that decision?

If it becomes a slog to read it – if I don’t want to keep picking it up. The interesting thing here is that the writer has to make my work not be work anymore. It should be a joy to keep reading, and if there are any problems, I’m excited to tackle them with an author, not trepidatious that they will be too hard to fix.

Sadly, there’s no easy fix for this, though you might be able to control for it with beta readers. You might want to ask people to read the book as fast as they can. Bug them about it. If they start and are not getting into it, that might be a sign. It’s a purely commercial form of quality testing – is this a beach read, is this a page-turner? Not every book falls into that kind of category, but then, maybe your question is “Did it make you cry?” If it’s supposed to make people cry, and there’s nothing but dry eyes, you know you have an issue.

Do you prefer reading queries, or being pitched to in person? Will you be attending any conferences or workshops this year?

I like doing conferences, but it's more for the workshops. Pitching in person is interesting, and I know how hard it is on the pitchers, but ultimately it is no substitute for reading someone’s writing. I like the workshops on query letters and opening pages because I find authors can get a lot of quick, good info on how to hone their work there.

I did some earlier this year and some last year, but probably not many for the rest of the year, I’m just too busy. Sadly, the nice one put on by BackSpace here in NYC has come to an end. I did a couple of online contests, and those were fun and easier since I didn't have to get off my butt.

Is there anything you've sold that is coming out soon (or just come out) that you're excited to tell us about?

Apropos to the last question, I had a book come out that I picked as a winner in a contest a while back, The Glass Wives by Amy Sue Nathan. It’s women’s fiction, not a category I really do, so it’s a bit of a fluke, but I think it’s a good example of finding new clients and books in unexpected places. I got into Amy’s book because the contest exposed me to more of her writing than I might have if I’d seen a query from her that was tagged in this genre, because I would have quickly passed by. But because it spoke to me personally, I kept on going with it.

Also, because I do a lot of work in the comics world, I’d encourage people to check out the trade paperbacks for Peter Panzerfaust by Kurtis Wiebe and Tyler Jenkins – it’s good stuff, and Kurtis’s next comic, Rat Queens, is going to be loved by any Joss Whedon fans and fans of funny, butt-kicking women in general.

Thanks, Jason!

Stay tuned for more Query Tips. Also, be sure to check out my new query "Dos and Don'ts" video HERE, in which I issue a fellow writer (and YOU) A CHALLENGE. Ooooh.

Questions? Comments? Be sure to leave them below!

Query Letters: What You Absitively, Posolutely Should NEVER Do

                                  Naked pictures are a definite NO.

               

Some of you have always wanted to be writers, others figure out their passion later in life. Whatever the case is, if you want to have a book published you’re most likely going to have to write the dreaded query letter. *Cue scary music here.

I say “most likely” because once in awhile you may stumble across a writer that got his or her agent through a writer’s conference. Still, if you ask, I’ll bet my left shoe (or my favorite feather pen) they’ve written their share of letters.

I’m always stumbling across questions on the internet about how to write a query letter. That’s not something I’m going to go into depth about, because there are a million websites out there that will tell you a million helpful things. I highly recommend “Query Shark”, but warn you she may bite if you stick your finger in the tank.

To date, I have written…well, LOADS of query letters to loads of different agents. On my first book I sent out sixty-one query letters. I got varied responses, a few requests and tons of polite form rejections. I finally clued in on number sixty one. I was querying the WRONG BOOK. I urge you to pay attention when an agent takes the time to comment. They are busy people, consider it an honor. Not to mention, they are SMART. Listen to what they tell you! I finally figured it out when I had three or four agents telling me the same thing. My story was good, but it wasn’t going to sell in today’s market. Instead of crying and stomping about (well alright, there may have been some of that at first) I sat down and started scratching away at book number two.

Book number two was a different experience all together. Instead of sending off one or two query letters a week, I sent three or four a day. I bombarded the literary world, sending queries flying out like a hail of bullets…ahem, that is to say, I sent a LOT. Then I sat back and began work on the rough draft of my third book. Several weeks later, I was surprised and delighted to get an email back requesting the full manuscript! Hoorah! I clapped my hands gleefully and set about sending it off. Then, lo and behold, I got another request….and another! All together over a period of several weeks I got FOURTEEN requests. I was flabbergasted, floored, and a few other fancy words that mean “really really surprised”.

What did I do differently? First off, I now had the “right” book, one that got some attention, since it was in a popular genre (check out agents “wish lists” for what they’re looking for and see if your book fits it). I kept the letter plain and simple: For my first book I tried fancy “hooks” to try to make the query letter interesting. My second round of query letters held only a sample of writing, an exciting “quote” from the book. Really though, I’m afraid there’s no magical query formula. Your book will either grab a few people’s attention, a lot of people’s attention, or maybe none at all. But there ARE things you can do to make sure you have NO chance (I look up these things on the internet because they amuse me endlessly). SO, here’s what you do if you want to strike out, and never get a single request:

1)      -Send pictures. You may be saying, “People do that? Really?” Really. If you go read a couple of agent blogs you’ll be shocked to hear what they receive. Pictures of you in the buff, your dog (also in the buff of course), your beautiful veggie garden. One agent writes about an author who sent her a picture of said agent walking up the front steps of her office building, and one of her walking in the door of her house! (Oh yeah, don’t stalk them either).

2)      -Make your letter “pretty”. They’ll love that. Glitter, sequins, paper mache….you could even put on lip stick and make big lip prints all over it! Yay!

3)      -Say things like “I am God”, “God told me to write this”, “I’ll make you a million dollars” or, “I have written a manuscript that surpasses the Bible and Shakespeare”. (If you want to read some crazy stuff writers say in query letters, go over to the website “Slushpile Hell”, written by an irate (and very funny) literary agent.

4)    - Go into a long and rambling description of how you were published in your high school newspaper, you wrote poems about the girl you dated in collage (she said they were really good), oh and when you were five you wrote a short story and your mom stuck it on the fridge.

5)     -Say that your book is like Harry Potter meets Twilight meets the Hunger Games, but it’s better and more original then all of them.

6)    -  Spell things however you like. Screw the dictionary! You write things YOUR way!

I could go on, but I won’t (you’re welcome). If you want a laugh, go look up outrageous things authors write in their query letters. You’ll be amazed and astonished, and incredibly thankful you aren’t a literary agent. Oh, and at some point I might write a post about how to write an actual query letter. But this was WAY more fun. Happy writing!

Queries, Conferences, and Canada’s Got Talent

      

          Recently I accompanied my good friend, Eva Turkoni, to try out for Canada’s Got Talent, in Vancouver. Ironic, since next month she is coming to Surrey with me, where I’ll be attending the Surrey International Writer’s conference. It appears we are “moral support” buddies. Someone to celebrate with, or a shoulder to cry on if it all goes terribly wrong.  The “Canada’s Got Talent” experience was mostly one of waiting. We got there just after 8:00am and proceeded to sit in a long line up (Or “queue” as Eva puts it) filled with the hopeful, and the crazy. We got to hear quite a bit of “talent” as we sat there snarfing our breakfast.

Many contestants were warming up their voices, some were good, some I would compare to the sound of a disturbed child torturing a number of stray cats. We met quite a few interesting people. A “big band” singer, who at first stood in awkward nervousness, fiddling with the cuffs of his pinstripe suite, until he realized we didn’t bite, and opened up, proving to be a nice sort of fellow, a suave magician, who dulled the pain of the long wait with a number of mysterious and baffling card tricks, and a tall, rather loud man who did impressions so astonishingly accurate, that people were ducking down and casting their eyes to the ceiling as he made bird noises.

At last we entered a second room, where Eva had to stand in yet another “queue”, and I joined a triad of nervous mothers waiting for their kids to finish the auditions. About 90% of the people that tried out in Vancouver were singers, so much so, that the news cameras were trolling around looking for any other sort of talent to film.  I was asked several times, what my talent was, to which I replied “nothing” or “my talent is supporting the talent”. In truth, my talent would be thoroughly unimpressive on a show like “Canada’s Got Talent”. Nobody wants to see someone stand there and read a story, or, as my sister suggested, just sit on stage and read a book (and she didn’t mean out loud). Of course, I still got a picture with the “Canada’s Got Talent” sign, even if that makes me a bit of a faker.

            So many nervous, excited people waiting around in one room! It got me thinking about waiting to see Suzie Townsend at the writer’s conference. I’ve heard you have to stand and wait out in a hallway, or that it’s in a huge room full of people sitting at tables (speed dating style) and that you can barely hear one another. None of that makes me feel any less nervous, but I guess it’s better than what I was secretly picturing in my mind.  I had this mental picture of Suzie Townsend, sitting like a literary queen on some huge throne, crushing insignificant little writer’s dreams under her heel, like a winemaker crushes grapes. In my mind she looked something like the ice queen or “white witch” from Narnia, beautiful and terrible, casting down cold judgment on those who trembled before her. Of course, I realize that’s ridiculous. A pitch session is a business meeting, nothing more. It’s me, pitching a novel to her, to see if she would be interested in trying to sell that novel. There will be no throne, and no ice queen. She will not smite me if I stumble over my words. There will be no smiting.

Right now I’m struggling to format a perfect query letter, since every piece of advice I have come across says not to put all your eggs in one basket, (if you happen to fall on your face and break all the eggs, you have backup). So I’ve been trying to write a perfect query letter to send to other agents as well, before I head out for the conference. So far…it’s frustrating. It’s like saying, “Okay writer, you’ve just finished your 100k novel, good job. Now compress it down into one page, and make it perfect. Go.”  Erm…..

            I figure I’ll write one, and let my wonderful editor, Angela Cragg, take a look at it to make sure I’m not making a complete idiot of myself before  I send it. I hope to write the perfect query letter, one that makes the agent say: “Sweet Jesus’ beard! It’s two in the morning, but I MUST read this book! Email me the entire manuscript without delay!”  

In closing, for those that are wondering about my friend’s rise to stardom, Eva will hear back from Canada’s Got Talent in October. So now, it’s a waiting game. There are few things similar in the writing and music industry, but waiting for the payoff is definitely one of them.

       "Your pitch disgusts me, sniveling mortal."